There is More to Family Vacation Than Disney World

Today Trip Advisor came out with its annual Traveler's Choice Awards.  Of course I was giddy with excitement to see the results and I have to say, I am kinda disappointed. Of the list of the top ten family friendly resorts, six were located in Orlando, FL. Now I have no doubt that these are extremely family friendly places and I am not knocking any of these resorts in any way. I am just very disappointed in the rest of the country.  Disneyworld is a great place for a family vacation but there is only so much "imagineered" fun I can take. For me, Disneyworld is one of those once every 10 years kind of places where you take the kids and fully immerse yourself in theme parks for a week. It isn't a once a year family vacation spot. I would much rather take my children someplace new and exciting where they might learn a thing or two about nature or culture. There are so many great National Parks and fantastic cosmopolitan cities across the country to explore with your children. Why isn't there more diversity on the family friendly hotel front? I will say I am so glad there is a hotel in Washington DC on the Family Friendly Top 10. What a perfect place to take your kids on vacation! So much to see, do and learn.  Ocean City, Maryland and Carlsbad, California are wonderful beach towns and have hotels featured in the top ten. What about a cool hotel set amongst the Rockies where children can explore the dramatic scenery or a fun spot near Grand Canyon that traveling families can use as the perfect home base.? Come on innkeepers, step it up. Do you really want to have your butt kicked by a mouse?

Why I hate Chuck E Cheese

I remember being a child and getting super excited about the Chuck E Cheese birthday party. My mom was not one for taking my brother and I to visit that party loving mouse "just cuz" so being invited to a posh party such as that was a rare treat.  Back then it was Mc Donald's or Chuck E Cheese if your parents were going to spoil you with more than a cake and a couple friends in the backyard. The mouse ruled the birthday party circuit. There was the ball pit. A large urine and feces covered wonderland of color and hours of fun. The giant play area with tunnels and slides that didn't burn your butt as you slid down them because they were made of that new fangled space age polymer we know as plastic and they were indoors! Lets not forget the skeeball. A Chuck E Cheese trademark where a child tested their bowling skills (or ability to cheat when nobody was looking by running up and throwing there ball directly into the 500pt hole) and won tickets to get all sorts of useless crap. Best of all there was sub par pizza served in a theater where our favorite Chuck E Cheese stars performed a bunch of animatronic hits. It was good fun for all.

Well either my memory is completely wrong or times have changed. Twice we have attempted Chuck E Cheese with our kids and twice we have been massively disappointed. The first time we took them to the one in Sacramento. What a frightening experience. Talk about ghetto fabulous. It must have been "Gangsta bring your illegitimate children day" because that is certainly what it looked like. The kids were excited so we got some tokens and checked out a few rides. There wasn't much to do besides a couple rides that kinda shook the kids and sorry excuse for toddler play area. No ball pit. No massively cool play structure. This just didn't seem like a good place to be. The topper for me was when the security guard inside the place walked past me and I saw he was carrying a gun! A gun! Inside Chuck E Cheese! We were so out of there.

The second time we attempted Chuck E Cheese was when we were in Southern California a couple weeks ago. I noticed there was a new restaurant near my mom's and I figured it would be safe and clean since it was in the heart of South Orange County. We still had a ton of unused tokens in our car so I figured it would a good way to entertain the kids for an hour or two. One thing I noticed at both Chuck E Cheese's is they now brand you to your child when you enter. They stamp you and your child with the same number that is only visible under a blacklight so someone can't come in and steal your child. I know it is a good idea but I found it incredibly depressing. What has the world come to? We have to barcode our kids so someone doesn't try to steal them out of a children's entertainment area? What a sad state of affairs.

After we got our secret stamp we checked things out. It was certainly alot cleaner at this C.E.C. And there wasn't a shady character to be seen.  I didn't see a security guard, let alone one carrying a gun. All good signs. So we let the kids loose. Ben, being Ben, immediately went for the balls. We decided to put our first token into skeeball. So we drop one in and......nothing. Okay- maybe the token got stuck. I drop another in. Still nothing. Son of a! We got an employee and had them refund our money and get the sucker started.

Finally, skeeball heaven. Ben was happy to throw the balls in whatever lane he felt like and we were happy to let him since they mostly just came right back to him. Mari even gave a couple throws. Do I dare say we were going to have fun at C.E.C?

Well I guess we kinda had fun. In a disappointed, laughing at how horrible the place was, sort of way. We had so many tokens eaten by the machines while were there. The employee told us they checked the machines every morning to make sure they worked but we dropped more tokens into those machines and had absolutely nothing happen then was even close to acceptable. It was so annoying. It got to the point where I didn't bother asking for an employee to come get my token back for me and get the machine running because one less token meant we were one step closer to getting the heck out of there. Once again,  there was no ball pit! There was a play structure but super cool is not how I would describe it. It was mediocre at best. And even more upsetting- no animatronic characters whatsoever! How  is that acceptable from C.E.C? It isn't. It was enough to convince me to never come back.

Here are some highlight photos of our time at C.E.C.

Ben looking absolutely thrilled with the rides. Evidentially the E in Chuck E Cheese  stands for entertainment.  I think Ben begs to differ.

Mari did get some enjoyment from pounding things with the mallet but I think the biggest thrill came from pretending to drive the cars in the video game without a token in it.  Once again proving the best things in life really are free.

I will say the mini air hockey was pretty cool

but overall I would say this picture Paul took pretty much sums up our opinions of the place.

We ended up giving away the last of our tokens because we just had enough. It was draining to be in that place. The kids didn't even seem to care that we were leaving.

Maybe I am missing something. Maybe we just picked the two worst C.E.C.'s in the country to visit. I dare the mouse to prove me wrong. Until then we stand our ground in declaring the place overwhelmingly lame and a token stealing rip off. Anyone else have similar experiences or are we just special?

6 Unspectacular Things About Me

Jenn has tagged me to do this
6 UN-spectacular Things About Me
As with everything in life there are rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know that they have been tagged.

Now this is going to be tough because everything about me is pretty darn spectacular but I shall try...

1. I love costumes. I would totally buy a million period pieces if I could afford to. None of that polyester costume store crap either. I want authenticity. I am such a sucker for any place in which people dress up in costumes and act like they are living in that time period.
2. I am obsessed with learning about small religious groups such as the Amish, FLDS, and Shakers. I have spent hours of my life reading about them online. I have a  fascination about life so different from my own taking place in the very same country I live in. I think it also helps that have wear interesting clothes. It all goes back to costumes now doesn't it?
3. I hate skin touching skin while I am trying to sleep. I am all for cuddling but once I am ready for actual sleeping don't touch me. I can't even have my bare legs touching each other so I have to shove a blanket or a pillow in between them. I also can't have any blankets tucked in. Oh and I hate sheets. And I have convinced Paul over the years to sleep with separate blankets because that assures that nothing will touch me. I also don't like the air pocket created by sharing of blankets.  I guess what I am trying to say is I need my space while sleeping...
4. When I was eight or nine I thought I would try to trick my extended family on Easter by telling them I was not Sharlene. I was her identical twin cousin Jennifer from Columbus, Ohio. I truly thought this would work if my parents and brother played along with it. I just kept telling them Sharlene was visiting Jennifer's family and vice versa. I did not give up trying to convince the others all day. I refused to respond to Sharlene and only responded to Jennifer. I still hear about this every holiday. I am often asked if I am Jennifer or Sharlene and when I am being extremely weird (which is often)  I am told to "stop being a Jennifer".
5. I hate mayo with such unbridled passion that its absurd. I am generally not a picky person I will absolutely NOT eat a sandwich that has mayo on it. I don't care if you wipe of the bread or the meat. It was once there. The filthy mayo germs have crossed the barriers. Looking at it makes me physically ill. I can eat stuff with mayo in it such as dips as long as I don't see it go in and can't taste it. I will not make recipes that require mayo. It truly sickens me that this is even a food product.
6. My current dream job is to either be a travel writer or have my family star in its own travel show about traveling with children. We could go all over the place and experience the world and inspire others to do the same. If anyone knows someone who might be able to make this happen, you know where I am.

I am tagging:

1. Tonya

2.Bree

3. Terri

4. Mashel

5. Shannon B

6. Jane

Not so wordless Wednesday

I didn't get my big Disneyland post done today like I was hoping. Mostly because I am so freaking exhausted. Stupid Olympics are keeping me up to all hours of the night! I officially hate NBC for putting me in this position. I have to watch Michael Phelps win his 403rd Olympic Gold and there is no way I am not going to watch the gymnastics. So what do they do? Put them at the end of the broadcast. Those jerks. Don't they know I have two small children to take care of that aren't big into sleeping in? And then they have the audacity to call it live. It isn't live at all. It is 3 hours delayed because it was live on the East Coast. Why do they have to delay it? We would all happily watch it at 8PM instead of 11. But no.  All they care about is getting good ratings in the 11PM time slot. So we are forced to stay up and compromise our sanity the next morning. I bet you there has been a rise in car accidents from all the super tired people driving off the road. I bet there has also been a rise in kids watching morning cartoons and eating pop tarts instead of being engaged by their half dead mothers and fed a more nutritious meal.  They could put the synchronized diving at the end of the telecast. I would be okay zipping through that on Tivo the next day. But no. Instead, they torture us.  Fun fact: "Its really important in synchronized diving for teammates to train together in the same facility." That is per the brain surgeon of an announcer for NBC. Amazing stuff huh?

And don't get me started on the fact that the Chinese are a bunch of cheaters.  If they think they are fooling anyone by saying those gymnasts were all at least 16 they have another thing coming. Yes we know that the Asian culture has those wonderful genes that often make them look younger than they actually are but come on! These girls were barely 70lbs. And they were like 4'6"!!!!! Mari is almost that tall. Who do you think you are kidding China?

Finally, I know it is Thursday and I am just getting my Wednesday posted done  but I have a good excuse.  As I was typing this lovely rant Paul started screaming for my help. Mari had ripped off her diaper, took a massive poop, and then her and Ben proceeded to play in it and smear it all over our table and the carpet. It was everywhere. We cleaned the kids off (screaming "Naughty!" at them about 450 times) and then locked them in my room while we picked up what we could. Then Paul had to go get our steam cleaner from his uncle across town so we could get all the residual poop out of the carpet. Thank God for that steam cleaner. One of the best purchases we have made as of late. Why do kids think it is fun to play with poo? Really. I mean it smells so bad and is so foul. Unfortunately my kids tend to have a fascination with it and this is the card we have been dealt. It was one of those times that "double trouble" seems to describe them perfectly. I spared us all and did not take pictures of this particular incident. You're welcome.

Don't try this at home

Yesterday I attempted something a woman of average intelligence would never even think of doing. I took a couple of two year olds bridesmaid dress shopping. Yep. You guessed it. I was on drugs at the time. Thank you for noticing. In all seriousness, I had made plans with Chrissy (I am her matron of honor) to go dress shopping about a month ago and we scheduled it for Sunday because Paul doesn't work Sundays. Or so I thought. Paul had to work this particular Sunday to make up for the Saturday he took off for our trip to Southern California (which I will get back to blogging about soon I promise. ). Well we couldn't change plans because other people were involved in the dress shopping and we already had a reservation. So I brought my precious little angels. Silly, silly Mommy...

It started out okay enough. Chrissy took Ben to the REI next door to get him a ball to play with in the store. He was happy with the little stress ball he chose and we headed next door to David's Bridal. The kids thought it was super fun to run through the aisles of dresses screaming like monkeys while we waited for our dressing room.  I am sure the attendants didn't care for that much but as long as they were happy, we were happy.

Then we got a room (or the cage as I called it) and kept the kids in there while we took turns getting dresses to try on. They were doing okay until about the end of hour one. Then fatigue and extreme boredom kicked in. Chrissy ran to the car to get sippy cups and goldfish crackers while her sister and I tried on dresses and tried to keep the kids from complete mental collapse.  God bless that woman. Here are two of the dresses we tried on. I like the second one the best. Now keep in mind the dresses will be chocolate brown and not the color shown.

And here are the children quickly losing their minds.

Mari had been eyeing the little girl's dresses so Chrissy brought her a couple to try on. That was a big mistake. The child had a hissy fit when I put the flower girl dress on her. Complete meltdown. She wanted nothing to do with it.  Is it wrong that I found it all to be entertaining?

Luckily she came back down from her hysteria once I got her out of her dress and she got a view of how beautiful her Auntie Chrissy looked in her dress.

Alas- the calm was short lived. Ben had really no real interest in how pretty people where looking. He only cared about his ball and his one man mission to throw it in every single corner of the store. When he was not permitted to take the path he wished to take, a kicking and screaming fit would follow. Mari decided she no longer would stay in the dressing room area and repeatedly tried to make her escape. I repeatedly tried to offer my children to strangers inside the store but had no takers. I was so embarrassed. My little ones were the kids that people whisper about. The kids that young brides to be without children claim their future little ones will never be. In all actuality they were probably nice forms of birth control for a few of those brides to be. And who can blame them? It was not the twins most shining moment. Finally as I was about to pull each individual strand of hair out of my head we decided enough was enough. We go the kids fed, took them to Toys R Us for a free for all run through the store and let them pass out in the car for the long ride home. Oh how I wish I could have passed out at that point.  I have a feeling age two is going to be full of moments like that one.  Please pray for my sanity.

Nature always wins

Having boy girl twins has been a very interesting study in nature vs nurture. In this household, nature is holding strong. Mari is a girly girl and Ben is such a stereotypical boy. The past couple outings have really demonstrated this quite well.

Sunday we went to our friend (and the children's Godfather) Matt's 30th birthday barbeque. Ben was interested in being outside with the dogs, throwing the tennis ball and getting dirty while Mari walked her way up the stairs to play with the rabbit. She loved pretending to feed him and talking to him in a gentle and nurturing voice. Ben was happy to say hi to the bunny but after about ten seconds of rough petting he had his fill of delicate furry creatures. He wanted the dogs. Then when Matt's friend brought out her professional disc golf set Ben became a child obsessed. He refused to eat until he got his fill of disc throwing, sound effects included with every toss.







Today we went to the park to try out Ben's t-ball set we bought per his therapist reccommendation ( I guess the rotation helps his core muscles get stronger)Well Ben was once again in heaven. He loved learning how to hit off the tee,using the bat as a golf club, and throwing the ball for the dogs to fetch. Mari, on the other hand, couldn't be any less interested in the whole thing. She kept running over to the playground to go down the slide or trying to find ways to irritate me by purposely doing things to see whether or not they would get her in trouble. I am certain she only found it to be a personal success her activity resulted in scolding. We did finally get her to go pose with the soccer ball but she fell over the ball when she tried to kick it. I swear. She is my daughter.







I guess my point is that with all this talk of gender identity and political correctness going around I think we need to give nature a little more credit. Sure boys like boy things partly because they are encouraged to but I think most of the reason they like typical boy things is because that is what they are preprogrammed to like! And thats okay. Its okay for there to be boy toys and girl toys. Its okay for there to be jobs men are better at than women and vice versa. Of course there will always be exceptions to rules (and I am all for those who like to be the exceptions) but I think we should lay off trying to fight so hard against nature. After all, nature always wins out in the end.

My Connection With the Wicked Witch of the West

Me and that famous witch from the Wizard of Oz have something in common. No people, I am not talking about the attitude problem or the green complexion. I am talking about the fact that we are both "MELTING!!!!! MELLLLLLTIIIIING!!!!". I was going to do a really great post today about one of our country's National Parks but something happened. As I was typing away from the comfort of my couch with the air conditioner on full blast and a fan in my face suddenly things went quiet. The power was gone! Kaput! Now let me explain something for those of you who don't keep up with the Sacramento Valley forecast. The high today for Vacaville was 109! 109! And it is smoky and humid. So having the power go out is a very, very, very bad thing. Especially during the hottest part of the day. I kept hoping it was a five minute thing. But the five minute thing quickly turned into a 15 minute thing. I looked at my thermostat. It was 86 in our house already! Luckily Paul was on his way home because I called the power company and they said it would be out for two hours. We had to get the kids cool before things got ugly. But don't you have a pool in your backyard Sharlene? Why yes we do attentive reader, thank you for remembering. Unfortunately once again it is broken and as you can see from this photo, not very enticing. To say Paul and I and I are irritated by this would be just a bit of an understatement.



Paul took the kids to the gym where they had otter pops and enjoyed the air conditioning while he worked out. Now normally I would have participated in the fitness regiment but my stomach has been queasy all day so I passed and opted for reading at the bookstore. 6:30 rolled around and still no power! We got another two hour quote from our friends at PG&E. We had to head home and make sure the pets were still alive and try to have some version of dinner. It was now 93 inside our house. What to do? Then- a moment of brilliance. The sprinkler! We will play in the sprinkler. So I stripped down the kids and got my suit on and we ran through the sprinkler in our backyard. The kids were in heaven. I was having a great time running through it with them. Maybe this wasn't so bad.



Paul opted for the shower and dinner run. By the time he came back the power had come back on. We survived 3 1/2 hours of no power. Paul said he heard about outages in other parts of town as well. We think they were the dreaded rolling blackouts that California had a few years back. Too much power consumption overloading the system. Hopefully it doesn't happen again tomorrow. I was really not a fan. It is now 91 in the house and temperature is slowly coming down. The fans are shooting at us full blast and I am thanking God for putting me in a country where this isn't a daily occurrence.

POW in my own home!

"Ben, I get to go potty! Its part of the Geneva Convention!"

These are words I actually uttered to my son this morning as I was running to the bathroom with wails of displeasure filling my ears. Even prisoners of war get to pee without being yelled at. But not a mom. A mom has to put a baby gate up in the doorway to prevent her toilet from being clogged with shoes, plastic elephants, and rubber Scooby Doo balls. She has to endure whining and screaming for juice while urinating. She has to be hit in the knee by said juice cup as she wipes. She has to yell at her son about not throwing things at Mommy as she flushes. Then she has to avoid tripping back over the gate, put the cup on the floor, and attempt to convince her son to pick it up and hand it to her nicely if he wants her to get him a damn thing. He then whines and flails about. She in return whines and flails about. They are at a stalemate. Finally thirst overcomes the boy and he picks up the cup and he flashes a devilish smile as he hands it to her. A small victory for mommy dearest. Ben, your wish is now my command. Gotta love being a mom.